We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
