I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
