she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You can't just leave with hair like that
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
