I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
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