Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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