I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
