Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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