Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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