Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
