the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
