It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
