Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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