I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize