Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
