we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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