So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
