he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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