do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
