he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
