last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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