If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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