This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
