So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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