I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
