i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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