Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
