I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
