Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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