dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
