Buhtt sex?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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