so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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