non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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