y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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