areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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