That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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