I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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