Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Where is the hickey?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize