And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
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