i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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