i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
