i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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