Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
