I want to stick my p in your. b.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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