this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize