when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
