He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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