there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
