ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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