He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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