Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
