I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
