Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize