hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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