dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
