just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
