theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
smell my finger.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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